think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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