my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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