Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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