I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
