I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
