sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
