She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
