Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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