what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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