it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
