watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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