You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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