I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i came on her dog
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
