He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
