just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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