dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
