i just sent this text using only my big toe
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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