she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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