my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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