i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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