...so i touched it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
