Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
