afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
