NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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