apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
