why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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