break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
