i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
