this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
