he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
