On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
MIDGETS
????
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
