YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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