It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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