You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
