Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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