Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
