I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
