dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
