P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
