Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
