Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Mom said you looked used
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
