2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
