her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just forgot I was standing up.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
