You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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