you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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