I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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