if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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