Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
