I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
