does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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